I am glad that people here are very understanding and very open about what they have experienced. I think I have been there. I don't know how bad my situation was comparing to some of them described in the comments. I have fought hard to get myself back up. I remember I tried so hard to seek help. Reflecting back, I think I really just wanted a peace of mind knowing that I will get better if I could see a doctor. What horrified me was not what I had to go through. What horrified me is how some people start to treat me afterwards. They would treat me as a mental patient; they would think I am dangerous and crazy.. They also think I probably would be able to achieve anything in life anymore. I feel so sad about this. I have never been treated like this.